Thursday, October 14, 2010

A Brief Excerpt - Caution: NC-17

I've been working on writing the last little bits of my current WIP, Healing the Mage. I have maybe another page or two worth to write, then it's time to begin the dreaded revisions. My hard copy has so many notes, it looks like it's bleeding! But the progress has been worth it. But I have to say I haven't been too pleased with how the love scenes are working out.

Usually writing the sex is the easy part for me, making all the rest come together coherently often poses a challenge as I tend to over-complicate things. but as I've been working through some earlier scenes, I haven't been satisfied with how they've come out. Last night, I did some tweaking to the first love scene in Healing the Mage. I think it works better, then again, maybe not. So because I like to share my agony, I thought I'd post a snippet here. If you think it works, let me know, and if you think it doesn't, I'd like to know that too, and why. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a bubble and not hitting the high notes as I should.

Anyway, here are Lily and Aidan, shortly after Lily has stumbled over a very ill Aidan and brought him home in an effort to help him. Things don't turn out quite as Lily planned, but then again, if they did, there wouldn't be any story to tell would there?



Heat. It broke through her foggy slumber, flooding her with warmth. She inched closer. A soft moan near her ear tore through the veil of hazy dreams that had left her restless, seeking the promises carried on intense swells of feverish intensity.

The warmth of a solid chest, strong, alive, seared into her awareness. Powerful arms folded around her. One large hand rested on her belly. Her eyes snapped open. Aidan.

He’d buried his face against her neck, his warm breath tingling and tickling her skin. A shot of excitement slithered along her spine. She stared at the hand on her stomach, the long, strong fingers. The thought of them running over her body drew a little shiver of excitement. She raised her hand, gently touching his large one, meandering over his fingers, sliding to the wrist. His warm skin was sprinkled with a light dusting of gold hair, soft under her touch. His lean forearm rested on her waist, burning her through her dress as she continued her exploration, finding his upper arm muscled and solid under the black t-shirt. She shifted slightly, and he gave a soft snore. She froze, cautiously turning her head to look at him. He still slept. Her fingers resumed tracing a vein on his arm and she let out the breath she’d been holding.

It felt nice having him wrapped around her like this. Zut! It was a whole hell of a lot better than nice. There was no pain this morning, there was just his warmth, his presence surrounding her, calming and invigorating her at the same time.

She wanted to laugh. Last night she’d sworn off men. And here she was with one on her bed. Granted it wasn’t exactly how a woman wanted to get a man in her bed, and she was sure he wouldn’t be here any other way, but it was still completely at odds with her promise to herself.
Her hand drifted again, lingering on his bicep, tracing down past his elbow. She imagined him leaning above her and… What was she doing? She needed to get him out of her bed. At that moment, the fingers on her stomach flexed, ever so slightly. She gasped, her nipples hardening as the fingers moved again, the caress growing more insistent and seeking. Her hand tightened on his arm.

She held her breath as he moved slowly, massaging with a light touch that unsettled her in more ways than she cared to admit. The power scorched through her, settling in her core, making her pussy throb. What was happening between them?

“Aidan, wake up,” she said, hoping he would stop, at the same time, hoping he wouldn’t.

“I am awake.”

His sleep-roughened voice only sparked more fire in her veins. How could he do this so easily? She hesitated, then turned to face him. His silvery-blue eyes were wide open and watching her, and a hint of a smile played on his lips.

“Like what you see?”

“How long have you been awake?” she asked.

“The whole time.”

She closed her eyes and swallowed. Her heart threatened to explode, both from embarrassment and the knowledge that she had indeed, liked what she’d found. There was no graceful exit from this one.

If only she hadn’t felt his pain last night, heard his moans of agony. She sighed and looked away, knowing she needed to get free of him, even as she wanted to stay wrapped in the cocoon of desire he slowly built.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have ….” His seeking touch moved more insistently, sliding up toward her breast. She held her breath, knowing she should stop him, yet wanting to feel his caress. She closed her eyes against a half-hearted denial, fighting the need to press even closer, to touch him as he touched her.

“I’m glad you did.” His slow progress was maddening, even as he passed his lips along her ear, his words a vibrant whisper that left her gasping.

“I didn’t mean… oh, it’s too much.” His fingers slid still higher and ignited her yearning, more intense than she’d ever known before.

“It is, isn’t it, Lily? Too much and not enough.” His low voice was a caress of its own. “Even in pain, I recognized the attraction and had to have more. You felt it too.”

“I… no, I didn’t.”

His chuckle sounded like thunder in her ear. “Don’t delude yourself, little Healer. Your touch did more to me than ease my pain.”

With that, he cupped her breast and she couldn’t stop from arching into him. At the same time, his lips moved along her neck, and she was suddenly on fire, aching and desperate for more of his touch. She bit her lip to keep the moan from escaping, but his hand squeezing and caressing her breast had her head swimming. With a start, she realized he was under the blankets with her, pressed against her ass. Even clothed, she could feel his erection, hard and insistent. Another bolt of lightning sizzled along her skin, his lips now on the curve of her shoulder, easing the strap of her tank dress away.

She quickly gave up the effort to remain motionless. Instead, she pushed into him, turning and allowing him the freedom to touch her, to bare her skin as he did. Finally, he eased up on one arm and she found herself completely underneath him, his crotch pressed into hers. She let the moan escape then, her pussy throbbing in sudden need. This shouldn’t be. He was a stranger, really, a pureblood Zyndevine Mage just coming into his powers. She was a former Enchantress who’d turned her back on magic and all of its trappings. But the desire would not be denied and she reached for him, sliding her arms around his neck and pulling him near for a kiss.

She meant to keep it slow and gentle, but Aidan consumed her with his mouth, his lips and tongue wreaking havoc on her senses as he dove deep into her mouth, teasing her, making her quiver wildly. She let the last of her doubts go as she met his tongue with hers, her body curling around him.

2 comments:

  1. Jeannie, Like the re-writes. There's a more languid feeling here and more of her wanting him and being concerned for him

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  2. Thanks Janet. I have to work on all the love scenes, some of them just feel a little awkward. I've been avoiding working on them to get the final scenes down, but the time for stalling has ended, I think! :D

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